The pros and cons of Christmas 2012 for me.

Pros

1. Grateful to have good health.
2. Grateful that my mom and dad are alive and in relatively good health.
3. Grateful to have a home and the basic creature comforts.
4. Love my cat and my birds.
5. That with what little money I had, I could get my mom some gifts. Broom, Rake, gardening gloves and hand lotion.  

Cons

1. Being broke.
2. Being single. (well that's a mixed bag, I'm ok with it but everyone gets lonely around this time of year. On the other hand not having to buy gifts for aGF saves me from the extra guilt of being broke.) 
3. Not doing anything. (Also a mixed bag, having to deal with obnoxious extended family I don't really care about sucks, but doing nothing special Christmas day just makes me feel numb.
4. No gifts. (I got socks and I'm grateful, its the thought that counts. Still the dying spark of the child inside me wants toys god dammit. HAHA... sigh.. )
5. Feeling like time is becoming a repetitive blur. (Like everything stays the same but everyone is just getting older. Just seeing the effects of time and mortality on the ones I love depresses me, my mother looks so frail now, it just makes me think about what future Christmases will be like.    

Just needed to get that off my chest.